When Ed & I got married, I told the pastor that I was not going to pledge my commitment to the vow “obey.” It was 2000, I am a modern woman, and I am not one to always obey anything. Ask my husband. It was my stand for women’s lib. Or something like that in my head. Of course, we had the option of writing our own vows, but if you have met my husband, you would know that his vows would have been about 3 words and it was easier to go the more traditional route. Minus the whole obey business.
Recently, I have been rethinking one of the other vows that we made. The one that you promise to love & honor in sickness and in health. I am now thinking that I should have added a disclaimer that I will absolutely love him in health but the sickness part needs an asterisk. I am not so sure that I support injury as part of that pledge. Please don’t take this as I am not adhering to my vows. I love my husband, but whoever wrote those vows so long ago did not do this while dealing with a man who has broken his arm.
A few weeks ago (or months maybe, so it feels), Ed broke his wrist. Playing hockey no less. The man has played hockey for nearly 20 years, and in a purely for fun pick up game, he falls and breaks his stupid wrist. I will give him tons of credit, the man was fairly calm when he called me and managed the Petri dish of the ER waiting room with more dignity than I did. But the days following were the challenge.
What is it about a man who is sick or injured, that causes him to become a 5 year-old throwing a tantrum? To be fair, I am sure this does not apply to all men, but my experience has proven differently. I have broken my hand before, I know that it is painful and frustrating. And I am not without empathy or sympathy, for that matter. But the test is real, people.
We have now been through surgery. Ed is the proud owner of a plate and a couple of screws. Next phase was the hard cast. And then the soft brace. I would image that at the time of this writing, we are on the downhill slide. I am sure that he has felt helpless at times through this ordeal. There is a certain level of frustration that applies to being non-weight bearing and one-handed.
I think that having gone through this in our marriage, it ultimately will make us stronger. In retrospect, we will be able to look back and laugh. Hey look, we got through the “Broken Wrist of 2016” and I did not kill you. HA HA HA! Maybe that is what we will laugh about in an anniversary toast in 30+ years. I do know that if he ever have a vow renewal of any kind, I will not be pledging my vows for injury.
In all seriousness, Ed, I am glad that you are healing. And I love you. But please do not plan on any major injuries for a long, long time!